Relationships and Friendships, Hook-ups and Break-ups: Where did SS2.0 come from?

Everything you’re about to read — the bits and pieces from high school and college, friendships and relationships, Boston and Aspen — all led to the creation of Social Skills 2.0. The chaotically perfect combination of successes and failures, jobs and moves, relationships and random hookups. I don’t feel like SS2.0 is something I decided to do — I didn’t have a choice. SS2.0 created and developed itself through the accumulation of information, experiences, and passion. I hope this gives you a better understanding of me and how I came to be where I am and why I’d love to work with you. I enjoy helping guys just like you… good guys who aren’t satisfied with their social lives and relationships and know it should be easier. That’s why Social Skills 2.0 exists. It’s not about “pickup,” but it is absolutely about improving your interactions with women.

I was your classic nerd/dork in high school (though not enough of one or both to get the difference between the two). Only child, Boy Scouts, band (alto saxophone), Dungeons & Dragons … in addition to already being very socially awkward and uncomfortable around girls. I met my first girlfriend, Kristin, during the last half of my senior year of high school, and I believed it was my role as the boyfriend to do whatever I could to make her happy. My puppy-dog status must have been appealing at the time, because we decided to try to keep the relationship going even though I was going to be in Boston for college and she was going to be in Connecticut.

After a fairly socially boring freshman year and a lot of drama (she insisted that I stay in most of the time, as she didn’t like the idea of my potentially meeting other girls), I found out she had been cheating on me on a rampant scale. I had become so tunnel-visioned that I didn’t see it, and I got mad at myself. The worst part wasn’t the being cheated on; it was feeling like an idiot.

That sparked a change: I told myself I was never going to let myself be in that position again. I shifted from “nice-guy pushover” to “woman-hating, self-centered asshole.” Surprisingly (to me, anyway), that was when girls started liking me. I started hooking up. I would go to parties, be an asshole to the girls there, and almost without fail, I would end up making out or getting a number … sometimes a few.

Then at the beginning of the summer after my second year of college, I met Heather. We hit it off instantly and quickly developed into an exclusive relationship. The only problem? I was still a raging asshole who had a lot of growing up to do. After a little over a year, we started to fight about where the relationship was going. We split up but then reconnected about three months later and got back together on a casual basis.

Before the start of my final year of college, in August of 2004, I got an email that introduced me to David DeAngelo and his two catchphrases: “attraction is not a choice” and “be cocky and funny.” I was instantly intrigued. The cocky & funny approach, I realized, was exactly what I’d been doing. I immediately read, watched, and listened to anything I could get my hands for free (I was a broke college kid: Sorry, David). I ultimately bought Double Your Dating shortly after, which did not amuse Heather very much.

I spent my last year of college with a pseudo-serious girlfriend (Heather) in Connecticut and two casual girlfriends in Boston. I learned quite a lot about what I wanted in a relationship, as well as what I wanted to avoid. I also learned a lot about it takes to maintain a relationship, even a casual one. It sounds like whining, but juggling three girls — regardless of how casual — is very stressful at times, like around Valentine’s Day or my birthday.

I graduated from college in May of 2005 with an environmental engineering degree. I loved my time in the classroom and loved learning about the spectrum of topics that constitute engineering. I came out of college energized and felt ready to get the rest of my life started, but I would soon realize I was not a good fit in the career world of engineering. By June of 2007 I had been through nine different companies. Ultimately, my time in the engineering field was cut short, but the problem solving techniques, process oriented thinking, and solution implementation abilities I had developed would be pivotal outside the industry.

Then Neil Strauss released The Game in September of 2005. I tore through it, then reread it, multiple times. I also read/watched/listened to material by the instructors referenced in Neil’s book: including David Wygant, Wayne Elise (Juggler), Daniel Rose, Ross Jeffries, Vin Dicarlo, Nick Savoy, and, of course, Eric von Markovik (Mystery). I re-worked my wardrobe to draw more attention. I developed some openers and worked on my body language.

Heather and I ultimately split up in June of 2006. The last six months were messy and ugly, and it was completely my fault. I had become out of control and I can honestly say now that I can’t believe she put up with me as long as she did. We’ve since reconciled, although it took quite a long time, and now she’s married. She’s happy, and I couldn’t be happier for her. If you ever read this, Heather, I’m sorry.

A year out from graduation and my whole life had flipped around. Heather and I had broken up. I was out of college, into the “real world” of engineering — and hating every minute of it. The jobs I was doing were nothing like I had anticipated they would be. The only thing I really had a good time doing was going out “gaming” and drinking.

It was November of 2006, out at a bar, that I met my wingman James. He recognized some of the things I was doing, and we struck up a conversation. Both of us were so wrapped up in this new lifestyle, we hit if off as friends immediately. We started going out five to six nights a week; winging for each other, pushing each other, supporting each other, and giving feedback. We would roam around Boston during the day on the weekends too, applying what we were learning and seeing what was different from the bars. My knowledge and understanding grew more during that time than I had previously thought possible. James and I had talked about helping other guys through what we were going through, and actually brought a couple guys out to our favorite bar with us a few times. We knew that what we were learning had gotten a lot easier, plus way more fun, with someone else there to help. I had a lot of milestones and so many great memories during that time.

In the middle of July of 2007 I was injured while at work. I’ll spare you the gory details, but I hurt my right hand badly enough to require some surgery and have me laid up for about eight weeks. I was already feeling disgruntled and hopeless with the direction of my engineering career and wanting a change. This injury ended up changing my perspective about a lot of things in my life: my career and how unhappy I really was with its trajectory, my behavior and how destructive it had been to other parts of my life, my relationships and how toxic some of them had become, where I was living and how miserable I was in the city, as well as what was truly important to me. As it turns out, that was my last day as an engineer. It was only about a week later that my friend John told me he was moving to Aspen, Colorado and invited me along. After some serious reassessment of my current situation, I made arguably the toughest decision I’d made up to that point in my life and I moved to Aspen a few weeks later. I remember thinking, “Great, a fresh start in a new place where I can settle down a little bit.”

Once in Aspen, I started working as a ski and snowboard instructor, serving at a high-end steakhouse, and guiding hike, bike, jeep, and whitewater rafting trips. I loved everything I was doing. I quickly realized that everything I’d learned the past few years translated very well to all those jobs and gave me the opportunity to practice nearly every day. By my third season I had return ski/snowboard clientele that included Fortune 20 and 300 families, and had upgraded from the steakhouse to working at the most exclusive private club in town.

The first thoughts about Social Skills 2.0 started forming in August of 2012. I was in a serious relationship, had been giving dating advice to close friends on a regular basis, and I knew I had a unique perspective that could help more than just my close friends. I had developed such a love for coaching, for the enjoyment and satisfaction I saw in people when they made progress with something they were struggling with. I combined that passion with the knowledge bases I had built from my time in Boston and Aspen, and ran it all through the engineering problem-solving filter … and the first Social Skills 2.0 Platform was born.

A lot has happened since then. The Platform went through a few revisions on its way what you see now, and we’ve developed a lot more reference material and content to help you with your development. I’ve worked with guys from all over the world who were struggling with a variety of social difficulties and have only gotten better at recognizing the heart of the issue and best way to make the necessary adjustments. In addition to producing content for your growth, I continue to be a student of social dynamics and of the most current information available from reputable sources in order to be the most knowledgeable resource available to you.

As of this writing (spring 2020) I am; settled into Aspen, married and divorced, instructing skiers and snowboarders, serving at the private club, working with guys just like you to improve their dating skills, developing the best high quality content for Social Skills 2.0 including recording episodes of the Social Skills 2.0 Podcast, and enjoying life in the mountains with my pup.