5 ideas you must un-learn if you want your social skills to progress
Developing your social skills are as much about letting go of old ideas as it is about forming new ones. The following are 5 commonly held misconceptions about women and dating that you’ll need to let go of, because if you continue to believe them they will continue to hold you back.
Verbal language is more important that non-verbal language:
Research suggests that communication is roughly 60% body language, 33% tone and 7% language. Imagine you had $60 in your back pocket and $33 in your front pocket, but tried to use only the $7 from your wallet to pay for an $85 jacket because you know you have the money. The clerk wouldn’t believe you, and a woman won’t either. In order to communicate effectively you need to use all 3, not just the least important (but most obvious) one.
You’re not good looking enough:
Men are attracted to a woman’s body and face so it makes sense that you think women are focused on yours. But a woman’s attraction to men doesn’t work that way. Women are more attracted to the way a man makes them feel than how he looks. Because of this, attraction develops in women whereas in men it is either present or not. There are women that find Fabio attractive, there are women that don’t. There are many women that think Johnny Depp is sexy, and many don’t. I don’t think the split is as even when men see Scarlet Johansson. The point is you don’t know what her “type” is, so don’t disqualify yourself based on misguided assumptions. Hot girls are attracted to men too, so she might as well be attracted to you. Right or wrong (a whole other conversation), there isn’t a physical standard for men the way there is for women, and it’s something us men have to our advantage.
You can’t fake it:
This is another one of those scientific things, and I know it sounds very counter-intuitive. You can actually fake it until you make it. Researchers discovered that when we contort our faces into different expressions, our brains actually release the chemicals associated with that expression. Force a smile for long enough, and you trick your brain into releasing happy chemicals making you feel better. It’s true for both positive and negative emotions. This is huge because it means that we have the ability to alter our state of mind through our physical actions. I want you to try something. I want you to find a private place and then stand up with your hands above your head for 2 minutes, like you would to celebrate a big win. At the end of 2 minutes, I guarantee you will feel more confident, energized and refreshed. Don’t take my word for it; try it.
There is a “magic pick-up line” to get women:
I wish I could tell you there was. It would make my job a lot easier. Unfortunately, getting better with women isn’t like flipping a switch. Getting better with women is a process, just like getting better at or learning anything. Our desire for a “cure all” that will work effortlessly every time develops from our fear of rejection (oh, how deeply our fears are seeded). The best free-throw shooter in the history of the NBA, Steve Nash, has a free-throw shooting percentage of 90.41%. He’s the best there has ever been, has spent 16 years in the NBA, and he still misses one out of ten. Nothing is perfect.
Women don’t like sex as much as men do:
Women like sex just at much, if not more than men. They just want good sex, and not every guy understands what good sex means for a woman. If that wasn’t confusing enough, good sex means different things to every woman. For men, it’s usually pretty simple – in…out…repeat. But women’s bodies respond to sexual stimulation differently than men’s, and every woman needs different sexual stimulation to orgasm. Only about one third of women can orgasm from penetration alone, and the majority of that third say it is easier with clitoral stimulation. That means over two thirds of women will want you to be up close and personal with their clit. That also means you can still get a woman orgasm without a ten inch cock. So learn about playing with the clit if you want to be good in bed. I do not mean porn, there is plenty of legitimate information on the clit available. Women love sex; they just have sex differently than men.
For information about improving your own social skills, or a coaching program specifically tailored to your needs, personality type, and learning style contact:
Social Skills 2.0 at SocialSkills20.com, info@SocialSkills20.com, or (970) 236-6253
